I am in a bit of a haze at the moment but don’t know whether I am ill or not, it is sort of lurking!

I felt funny Monday 8th Dec in the morning and then ok a bit later so had lots of early nights last week and still had a little bit of a funny feeling but not as much as earlier in the week. Then saturday 13th had a big family gathering, so drinking wine, and a late night so had an early night on sunday and felt funny on monday morning but that eased off as the day went on. Tuesday 16th felt a little weird but not as much as monday in the morning and then ok on the evening and later in the week I felt a little funny, but more tired! Had a night where I couldn’t sleep properly for worrying!

Since then it has been coming in waves and felt really bad when I was in the supermarket on saturday and had to get home but then sunday was a bit funny on the morning and then fine later on! Still lurking now as feeling a bit funny but still in work!

Not sure what is going on, as it normally would have got progressively worse - but it cannot seem to make up it’s mind! Really hope it is not an episode as I have (fingers crossed, touch wood etc etc) never been ill at Christmas!

Anybody else get this?!It is the most random it has ever been and not just decided to get on with enjoying the christmas period and not let it get on top of me! Stupid KLS!

Nat
xxx

Yes, this type of thing happens from time to time.  You feel an attack is coming, but it never actually happens.  Very strange.

My “false start” episodes have all been linked to the hours before the recognizable onset of the flu or a bad cold with all the trimmings.  No matter how miserable the cold or flu might be, I am always thankful that those “feelings” aren’t the start of a KLS episode.  Before knowing anything about KLS and with the baggage of all of my serious psychiatric diagnoses, I was always terrified that this was it, I was going totally insane.  Once you have experienced that dread, I don’t think it ever leaves you no matter how often you come back from an episode.

Well I am still out and about and it never turned into an episode! The feelings seems to have died down now luckily!!

I always wonder though do people without KLS get these feelings too when they are tired or run down but don’t associate them with anything, but just because we have KLS we can associate them to that!???

Nat
xxx

Yes i’ve been constantly in this ‘half-state’ for about… hm… maybe a month now? it’s that feeling of being in a fog, and altered reality, and having everything not quite make as much sense as usual. i haven’t been sleeping constantly or anything like that, although for the past week or so i’ve been quite tired and i’ve had to take some mid-day naps for an hour or so. haven’t had any increased hunger either, which i usually experience while in an episode. it’s odd though because usually i have episodes every 4 to 8 weeks or so. it’s been… hmmm… possibly close to three months now, which is fantastic of course, except this “fog” or whatever i’m in right now is horrid.

has anyone found anything that helps to relieve this feeling? it’s driving me crazy and i can’t seem to enjoy anything right now.

Yes, I have been in the state you describe. After a 10-year plus remission, I went into another KLS Cycle in my early forties. This time, I was not overtly “psychiatric” but I was definitely not normal. My version of the “fog” was the feeling that I was invisible (and therefore not functioning fully in reality). I reported to a therapist that my “shell” was missing, the layer that allowed me to function without confusion in various social situations was gone. I share something else with you. When I was 16 I missed a lot school because of throat infections (and being “lazy and staying in bed”). Finally, when I was seventeen, a dr. recommended my tonsils be removed as they were no longer serving any useful function. That did pretty much take care of the raging sore throats. (unlike a later surgery under general anesthesia, I had no unusual reaction to the procedure).

Now, as to your question as to how others have dealt with the long foggy period: I was able to read and that ability let me connect with others who have found themselves confronted with “unreality”. In other words, I read poets (and studied their biographies), read myths, literature, and so on. These exercises served at least two purposes: 1) my unreality was channeled into accepted forms of unreality (poems, stories and so on), and 2) reading books allowed me “cover” in the outside world. Finally, literally keeping book company with the poets and so on, allowed me to at least have “people” to interact with. In other words, without these companions, I feel I would have been overwhelmed by the intense feelings of isolation that have been a profound part of my KLS experience.